The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
