walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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