Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
