I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
