Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
