I'm drive I can fine osifer
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
