Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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