Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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