i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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