I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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