Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
