Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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