Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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