Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize