you win again, gameday.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize