Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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