would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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