so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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