covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
this is an emotional support booty call
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
