Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize