I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
