Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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