I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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