if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.