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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  did u really fuck my little sister???

  (706): View more from Georgia

  im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (415): View more from California

  There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

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• (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Marry him. Now.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Omg sara

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?

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