The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
