Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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(847): View more from Illinois

my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

how drunk are you?

(952): View more from Minnesota

What does that even mean anymore?

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(319): View more from Iowa

So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

(319): View more from Iowa

Decisions, decisions.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable

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(719): View more from Colorado

Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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(516): View more from New York

Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.

(779): View more from Illinois

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review

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