Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....