Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
