i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
