I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
