If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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