i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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