A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
