Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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