Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
