I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
