soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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