im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
