just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
