i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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