My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
