that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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