Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
