i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
