you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
