She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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