this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
