i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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