I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
