i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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