I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
