I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
