sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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