I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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