I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
