i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
