Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
