i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
