Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Shame is for Republicans.
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