Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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