I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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