I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
