No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude i'm inner monologue high
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
