His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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