His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think people are normalizing furries
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
