do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
